i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
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You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Randomize