You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.