I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
23 People Noticed Deal Breakers in Their Partner A Little Too Late
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
23 Millennials Confess The Things They Wish They Weren’t Attracted To
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.