I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.