Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
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