Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Randomize
