If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Randomize
