high people should be assigned attendants
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
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