...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
it hurts more in the daytime
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
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