one two three fourrrrnication!
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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