So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
