We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
well you can't waste a boner
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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