Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
