they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
