she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Randomize
