You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Then you guys just all showered together...?
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
Randomize
