so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
I showed him my bush... on skype.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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