Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
i think i have two assholes
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
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