matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
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