I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
There's always time for handjobs
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Randomize
