just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
