Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
