Cold hands, warm shart.
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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