i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
