Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Randomize
