There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize