and you said cock pushups were impossible
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Randomize
