if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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