Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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