I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
I will be naked everywhere
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
