rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
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