I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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