I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
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