Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Randomize
