I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
