Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
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