Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
third nipple confirmed
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Randomize
