did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Randomize
