i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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