Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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