You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Randomize
