I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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