I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
