Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Randomize
