Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
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My first STD was from a foam party
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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