Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
He literally asked permission to hit on me
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