I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Randomize
