I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Randomize
