He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
