Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Randomize
