I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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