tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Randomize
