I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Randomize
