Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize