i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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