i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
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