well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
Randomize
