I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
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Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
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How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Is Oprah even human
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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