You smell like a Billy Joel song
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
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