i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
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