Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
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