i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
This can only be settled by a dance off.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
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