fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Randomize
