4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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