I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
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