I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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