I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
